Ay yi yi yi yi

Sometimes life gives u a lemon and your forced to make lemonade other times youre given a bottle of sambuca  and forced to chug it...as last night goes lemonade was never around however sambuca was flowing like water.   We started at wicker park with me and three girls. Each one of them had dress malfunctions so I did what every other red blooded American man would do....shots of vodka. 
Let me tell you about women, krp included-well especially krp-they are all certifiably insane. Like throw in a loony bin, put them in a rubber room and throw away the key. 
We called ubercab (shameless plug give us free ubercabs max). It took us to the Landans house...now we were prepared that a camera crew was following around but what transpired could have been considered a cross between a Larry Flint produced film, girls gone wild and Jersey Shore.  After being interviewed by the production crew about the twins (short jokes, marketing genius, not wanting to ever be in their bedroom again, Katy's boob moves and other creepy adventures, DD doesn't wear underwear,) The party took off to green tie ball in a huge party bus full of LED lights, models and sambuca. 
What the fuck!!!  We managed to finish the bottle in 5 minutes got off the bus and started the night.... Literally this was supposed to be the start of our evening.  We dressed up, I was wearing a God Damn bow tie.
Actually the real reason I'm writing this blog is because Katy blacked out.  Typically this isnt a huge deal since it happens frequently however this was at 8 PM.  We didn't get home until 3 AM. Using simple math, thats 7 hours of blackness.  Green tie was fun, we took a lot of pictures - I'm sure you saw them on Facebook you creeps...but at one point we got bored. You can only drink free booze and eat free food for so long.  We left for river north, hit up places like ho's and ubbard Finn. I changed the name so they wouldn't be noticed.
Well long story short we hung out backstage at mid got yelled at by krp for being an awful wingman.  Not sure what that meant, took cab home and felt a warming sensation down my leg. Krp fell asleep in the cab and pissed all over the place. She wouldn't get out of the damn cab, cops came and thought I was taking a random drunk pissed infested girl home. I had to show them ID to let us leave. Finally as we got out of the cab Katy decided to take her dress off so I had to carry her pee ridden naked corpse in the house.
Then I decided to drive to taco bell and get the whole drive through line singing and dancing to free bird!
God bless America & KRP!

No comments:

Post a Comment